Yeah, he knocked on the treadmill like, “Hello? Can I come in?”

First, when I say huge and ripped, I don’t mean in a good way. I don’t understand why guys think women are attracted to big and bulky, but we’re not. We like underwear models, Brad Pitt types, Johnny Depp sorts. It’s not about the muscles, it’s about the confidence. Super big muscles just means a guy isn’t confidented enough with his personality so he overcompensates with his body. Be healthy, don’t be Hulk Hogan.

So this Hogan-like guy knocks on my treadmill and says, “I’ve seen you around here, I’m the gym’s on site personal trainer. You look like you might be interested in some training.”

Huh? What does the “I’m interested in personal training” look….look like? Doe eyes? Glistening sweat that says, “Train me!?” Anyone with a gym bag?

Well, he obviously MISread my look, so I clarified, “No. I’m not.”

And without missing a beat the dude went into a five minute speech about the benefits of paying someone $80 an hour to tell me to keep doing what I’m already doing anyway. I finished my jog before he finished his speech, so I sort of nodded, stepped off the treadmill, and walked right out of the gym. I wonder if he took the hint.

Ah, done venting, now for some blog links!

Visit Mark’s Daily Apple and learn about his damage control products and the caveman diet. You might also pick up some great information about the benefits of vitamins and omega 3 benefits. Hope this was helpful!

I was never a big fan of the show. I didn’t have HBO so most of what I saw was at friends’ houses or random episodes when it finally went into sindication on TBS. I new the girl characters and some of the guy characters, but I completely missed most of the stuff about Samantha going through chemo, and Charlotte trying to have a baby.

But, the movie did a great job of filling me in in the first five minutes, and from thereout no back story was even necessary, it was just a good movie about ladies living in New York City.

One of the most amazing things about the film was the age factor. I’ve seen movies with 40-something women before, and I’m always a touch embarrassed how the make-up artists and directors and actresses themselves try to squeeze their way down into their 20’s. They try to play younger than they are (I’m looking at you, Catherine Zeta Jones, and you too, Nicole Kidman, and even you, Jennifer Aniston, you’re no spring chicken anymore).  I think this is a good part of why Hollywood doesn’t make room for the 40-somethings, because the 40-somethings aren’t acting like real 40-somethings.

But–with the notable exception of Sara Jessica Parker– the women in Sex and the City all play their age. Parker still does the girlish routine, though I suppose that’s a part of her character. However, the others act like real women in their 40’s. Samantha (can’t remember the actress’s name) shines as a woman on the cusp of 50. She’s still even got her beauty, and she wants sex as much as ever, but she’s got the stature, the dry attitude, and the personality of someone I know and like who herself is almost 50. She even chases after young men with washboard abs. The movie doesn’t lie either, they come right out and throw her a 50th birthday in one scene. There’s no age masking. And there’s no play on the woes of age. These aren’t women commiserating about not being 20. They’re women living the good new life of classic New York. The life the takes a few decades to obtain. The life of real 40-somethings.

All this talk of age has me thinking of life extension. And if there’s one sure life extension, it’s getting plenty of orac value.

Here I am without a boyfriend, and all my girlfriends have just gotten engaged, or they’re about to be wedded away! I guess I’m a selfish person, but for some reason I feel I lose a friend every time one gets married. I still see them occasionally, but they lose interest in our typical activities. Gone is the club scene on Friday night. There’s no more dating crazes, or going to concerts to pick up guys. The frequency with which they (and I) drink has dropped dramatically. I guess that’s a good thing, but my life seems a bit less…..wild these days, and I can’t help but blame that on my married friends.

So, Jenny, one of my first friends from college is having her wedding next Saturday, so I’ve got to fly all the way up to Boston to meet her future husband and give my congratulations and my gift, and try to sleep with one of her husband’s buddies at the reception. Ah, the cycle continues.

I guess I’m not too bummed out about the whole wedding business, it has improved my sex life a touch, though the guy’s aren’t quite as…robust. I think the thing I’m really worried about it is being the last. I don’t mind that both Amanda and Mindy got married before I did. They were ready to get hitched at 16. And Julia was pretty much the same. But nobody thought Ally would get married, or at least no one thought she’d get married before me.  And hell, Liz has been married twice!

Maybe that’s the trick. I’ll just wait for all my married girlfriends to burn out and get divorced. Then its back to the girls’ club.

Finally, it’s health time. I’m not really into abs. But if you are, check out this post on getting abs on a high fat diet. The dude writing it is pretty cute, even if he is over 50! And these posts on omega 3 vitamins and omega 3 benefits are pretty good too.

I’ve noticed a new trend at the clubs and shows recently. I call it slutty/classy. It used to be a look reserved for the cougars and aged trophy wives in the crowd, but I believe the trend has spread to the clubbing prostitots as well.

To achieve slutty/classy, start with an elegant party dress or gown. Then tack it up with bawdy jewerly, wear a brightly colored bra, and four inch heels. Sounds ridiculous, right? It is! It’s like a Burbon street invasion into the finer establishments of Los Angeles.

The really sad thing is, I almost feel obligated to try the look out. I believe I would look just as insane as everyone else at the club, but the new slutty/classy look is becoming the look of the young, and I have to compete!

In round-up news, I found a couple websites: People search and orthorexia nervosa are too odd links worth the click through. Eating disorders and networking, it’s a clubbing girl’s paradise!

I haven’t done a play in a while, but recently a friend asked me to help run the lighting board for his one act play, which opens tonight.

My first reaction was, “Oh man, that’s going to eat me Friday social life for three weeks!” But then I realized, it might actually BE my Friday social life for three weeks. People come to the theater. All sorts of people. New people. People for me to meet.

And one other thing: Theater people tend to be healthy people. Actors are always “working on their bodies.” And even the techie sorts of people (I guess I’m a techie sort at the moment) tend to be in shape, just because working the stage demands so much physically–hauling lights, climbing ladders, fixing sets, etc.

I wasn’t surprised at all to see one of the actors in the show open her purse and pop some vital omega 3 vitamins. And let me tell, pretty much every actor I know, has been on a weight loss shake diet at some point in their life. It’s just the healthy way. Or maybe it’s the glamorous way. Or maybe, just slightly, it’s the superficial way. But it’s my way.

Unfortunately, there were a couple of assholes at this year’s SuperBowl party who had to ruin everything.

First of all, never talk politics at a sports game. Of course, the primaries are coming up tomorrow, but still, there was a crowd four dudes spouting vehemently about one candidate or another, out shouting the volume of the TV and ruining all the commercials, which is the reason most of us came to watch the game.

But even those guys weren’t dickish enough to talk the asshole of the day prize.

I’m not a Football afficionado, but I know the sport. I don’t know the names of all the players, but I know the names of many of the quarterbacks, and I know the difference between good coverage and sloppy offense.

Yesterday’s game was possibly one of the greatest Super Bowls I’ve ever seen. The final drive by Eli Manning had everyone at our party on the edge of our seats. And the play where Manning sheds four lineman, and throws it to Tyree, which he catches on his head, well, that play was good enough to be named.

Then, at the end of the game, everyone’s saying “Great game!” “Great Game!” and this ASSHOLE confidently says, “Are you kidding?! Super Bowls are supposed to be high scoring games! I want to see 35 to 27, that would have been a game. This was nothing.”

God. Damn. If I ever wanted to punch somebody, it was that dude at that moment. Maybe it was just the warrior rush of victory in my head. But JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, that was a good game.

And now for my little health blog business. My two links this week are about vitamins online and omega 3 supplements. If either one helps you, then good for you.  

I’ve spent too many years in the city, and I know that sex and the city don’t always match up. Especially good sex.  Some of the best sex I’ve ever had has been when I visit my hometown back in the midwest. Is this just a nastalgia thing? Or the excitement of hooking up with guys who always had out-of-town girlfriends back when I was in high school? No. I think it’s just the passion in people from small towns. I find the city liking the kind of emotion required for great sex. Well, maybe the city’s got a little bit to offer, but not the home grown kind.

And what’s better than sex? Vitamins! Omega 3 supplements are some good vitamins to start with, also find yourself one of the best multivitamin. There are millions of choices of vitamins in this crazy vitamin world; just like men!

L.A. is a great town for partying. The clubs are great, and there’s a 2:00am last call which is actually kind of nice. If I really want to party hard, usually someone’s house is available for the wee hours of the morning, but if I’m getting tired of the guy I’m with, I can use the 2:00am last call to get the hell out of there.

Anyway, a good night of partying usually starts with good friends, and it really needs to starty at a good restaurant. So, why did one of my best guy friends decide to have his birthday at the Wester Sizzler?!

I’d assumed you had to be over the age of 55 to eat at a Western Sizzler. I’d also assumed it was something you did on a weeknight because you forgot to cook for the kids. I didn’t know it was possible to host a celebration at one of the buffet halls.

I was a little miffed going in. I wanted to dress up to go out. I had a tight, red one piece, and some new fuck-me-pumps I just couldn’t wait to gloat with at one of the better clubs in WeHo, but there’s no way I could sit through an hour and a half at the Sizzler with such an outfit on. Every white trash L.A. yokel would be eyeballing my ass like it was a plate of hot wings and chittlins, and that’s just not the type of attention I want.

So I compromised and I wore one of those pull-over jackets that are supposed to be cute, but completely hide the shape of your boobs.

Fortunately for me, my guy friend had a really good sense of humor. He rented out a banquet room at the Sizzler. Our own private buffy heaven. And he brought a large amount of rum and vodka. We turned the Sizzler into our own personal trash party, and it was more fun than any club I’ve been to in the last month. Maybe I’ll host my 30th birthday at Denny’s.

Anyway, after a hardcore night of salsbury steak and buffet mashed potatoes, I’ve got to seriously get my health on for a few days, so let’s start with a few healthy websites. If you’re into the benefits of vitamins like I am, check out the Master Formula site for a really good multivitamin. Until next time, peeps!

Spooning is a different matter. I believe spooning should be reserved for the bed. That’s the only place it really works.

So why do so many couples spoon at the taco stand I go to?!

Once or twice a week I like to get my dinner from Tito’s Tacos. It’s ghetto greatness, just a large stand with a dozen people in hair nets frantically making tacos for the taco deprived of Culver City. It’s wonderful blue collar, which is so hard to find in L.A.

The lines are long at Tito’s. It’s great for people watching. And I’ve noticed too many couples who spoon while they wait for their tacos. It’s not a hug, it’s not a reverse hug, it’s a full on stand-up position spoon. Sometimes the girl will even be standing on the guy’s feet as if these couples are frustrated that they can’t occupy the same space. I don’t mind public affection, but full on spooning? And why does it only happen at Tito’s Tacos?! Hmmmm…

Consider the taco. It is warm, full of love. And most importantly, it is a cripy shell SPOONING the meat inside. The taco is a food imitating the act of spooning! I think people subconciously think of spooning when they order their tacos, which just leads to such rediculous PDA.

Meh, what do I know. I still don’t have a boyfriend.

Anyway, tacos aren’t the healthiest food, so I’ll compensate by posting some links to actual health websites. The first deals with orac value and the second talks about how to deal with stress.

Now let’s talk about Ryan Seacrest: I love him! I’m a short guy gal, even though I’m 5′9″ which can make for some very awkward prom photos, and might eventually make for some very awkward wedding photos, but if it’s Ryan Seacrest, it would be worth it.

I spend almost an hour driving to work each day, which gives me quite a good dose of Ryan while I’m waking up. He keeps it light. Almost every radio personality out there has an inbittered opinion of the latest Paris Hilton news, an impassioned and righteous outlook on global warming, and a synical abhorement of the iraq war. Ryan leaves out the disgruntled denominator. He chats with housewives about their social kissing habits, and that just makes me feel better.